It's impossible to find a break to reset things. All the little maintenance tasks, the growing list of tabs and minor errands that never seem to get done. A productive burst now and then helps, but it never clears. It's infuriating, having all those little bits nagging at you.
So infuriating that even if the break comes, that's not what I'm going to do with it. It's too much. The pile only grows if you don't have a system to trim it down, and pulling overtime to clear out the queue when it becomes unmanageable is not a sustainable system.
If you know deep down the reset won't help, you won't do it at all.
There's no point in waiting for the break.
Force a time to fix the systems. One section after another. You have to shove it in the schedule.
Find an hour to clean out your email inbox, and hit unsubscribe on every single one.
Another hour tomorrow to clean off laundry chair, and put a bin there to catch the rogue socks instead of letting them pile.
Find the spark of frustration which is driving you to want a fresh start, and let it actually take you there.
In the vast majority of cases, you know what needs fixing. But when the pile is empty there isn't a reason to change the system, and when its overflowing it's feels too urgent to bother. If you're already not dealing with it, another day to get a system in order won't make a difference.
So fix the system instead.
- Rew
Nightly Notes
I'm writing this for the sake of getting it off my mind more than anything else.
I've been running around and getting things mostly done alright for the last month, but I feel awful.
I feel like I've been blindly running into a swamp for a month, and it's getting on my nerves.
I can't tell if I'm writing coherently, and I know there's something weird about the fact I can't stop switching between first and second person. I think this is just my inner monologue trying to tell myself I have any idea what I'm doing. I think this is another spin on nothing should be full, or maybe that's why it was on my mind to begin with.
I can't tell.
I'm so tired.
I suppose I tell myself one day at a time on these posts for a reason, as much as I enjoy the longer ones.
- Rew